Funny Marriage Quotes

Funny marriage quotes at latestngreatest

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

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My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It's titled, "Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong."

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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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Honolulu — it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
 

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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish...

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Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

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After an acquaintance of ten minutes, many women will exchange confidences that a man would not reveal to a lifelong friend.

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The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.

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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

 Henry Youngman

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"I'll never let go Jack, I'll never let go." Rose in Titanic. Several seconds later, poor little Jack sinks to the bottom of the Atlantic...
 

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 An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
Agatha Christie

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Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

 
Henry Youngman.

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If a man is talking in the woods and no woman hears him... is he still wrong?

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I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
 

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I fell in love at first sight… I should have looked twice.

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Before marriage  a man yearns for a woman after marriage the ‘y’ is silent .

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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want then when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.

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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher

. Socrates  

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